"Selamat Hari Besar Kaamatan" is the direct translation of my post title, in Kadazan language. Perhaps, many if not all of friends of mine out there, not originating from Sabah in particular, wonder what do we, the Kadazans (and Dusuns), do on this day?
To start with, I myself have very limited experience when it comes to the "rituals" done on Kaamatan day. Perhaps the reason being is one that my family (both paternal and maternal) do not practice nor participate in those rituals anymore due to religious reason. Another reason is that they've made Kaamatan day valued to more of a commercial festival, that we the young and stupid completely unaware of the traditions, whilst originally it was supposed to be of worship of only particular people participating it. These days, or even from years back as far as my memory can stretch, people of all sort of color and beliefs converge and celebrate this special day.
But anyway, I am trying to share my rare experience with you, of watching how real Kadazans celebrate Kaamatan a decade ago (yes, I am that old!). I happened to have a long-distant relative that still practice this back then, I doubt if they're still now though.
To recite back, only "chosen" people can actually conduct and participate actively in its rituals. These chosen people, are usually old, wise ladies leaders and several other middle ages women and men followers to my recall. In one occasion, it's okay to have 2 simultaneous "leaders" in rituals at the same place. This place where rituals took place is usually paddy field, or somewhere near to your harvest. In contrast to the potrayals of "harvesting session" as in Kaamatan's Feast (be it district level, state level, or national level), all participants need not wear that well known "black+gold" attire. As long as you're clothed, then that's good enough (or else it won't be Kaamatan!!). The number of people involved in this ritual usually a dozen, more or less. Also, the date, or which month is it doesn't matter, as long as you're harvesting your harvest. So May 31st, is not a definite day for Kaamatan really.
Now that I've prepared you with the technical details of it, lets start grinding on the process of the ritual itself. So it starts with the leader(s) chanting some ancient, memorised prayers, while the rest meditate on it. Why I say it's ancient, it's because I myself can't even fathom what they're praying. This goes on for maybe half-an hour or so, I guess it depends on how quickly the leaders spit out the prayers :). However, please do not read too much into my 12 years old mindset speculation, I could be dead wrong at that time. Unfortunately really, I never knew what sort of prayers do they whispers, nor did I bother to ask until now. Maybe it's high time to get to know more of my own tribe cultures!
Anyway, lets go on! Then the followers will start singing and, some of the ladies chant prayers (at this junction, I am not quite sure if they're merely repeating what the leaders said, or they're adding more prayers, or even replied to what leaders had just said) while some of them at the same time prepared "sirih and tobacco" put in a special brass plate in the middle of the circle where they sit. Long chantings, and all that maybe lasted for another half-an hour or so. This is just another boring 'prologue' you may think for now, but wait!
So here comes the interesting part. The leader(s) will now sit in the middle of the circle, whispering something while rearranging those things on the plate. At the same time, followers will stand and start moving (I wasn't sure if there's any prefered direction, i.e. clockwise or anti-clockwise) slowly, circling the leaders. Then, the leaders will sing in loud, high pitch voice something, while the rest start doing that ever famous Sumazau dance within the circle. Many movements here that I cannot really find enough words to describe to you how captivating was it that time. All and all, it has taken me back, and the aura is still here this moment!
After they're done with this, the leaders will go out of the circle, grab a Saging (a leaves-woven basket) to head off to the field. At this juncture, the followers will sit down and silently chant some prayers, and one or two of them will leave to follow the leaders. This is yet another best part of it, because I had the honor of trailling behind these ladies to the field since I was the Gambit (a hand-made hook, that is used to cut harvest) carrier. So, what do we do in the middle of the field? The leaders is ought to chose seven 'ruvang' of paddy, deemed to her out of the area of the harvest. Ruvang is the word used, and I can't fnd a good translation of that in English, so let me explain it as much details as I could. When you have grains grown out, you will chose the best according to how strong the grains held to its branches (this to represent that you have excellent elements e.g. soils water etc, that can support your harvest), thickness of the branches (this to represent that you have taken much care of your harvest, from its early growth to its harvest time), and also numbers of paddy grains in one branch (to represent that in order to 'return your good deeds', grains blessed you with heaps of them to sustain your wellbeing). The reason of the numbers of ruvang chosen to be seven is unknown to me, and I reckon it's best to leave it unanswered to preserve its sacredness. These 7 ruvangs will be kept until next season for paddy planting start again. These grains of ruvang are supposed to be mixed with the grains that you are going to plant, so as to keep the blessing for this season continued to the next.
So, we head back to the hut, or the place where the rest are waiting for us, wrapped the 7 ruvang with leaves from the wild (not specific), and they finish off the rituals with 5-10 minutes more prayers, and off we go..Kaamatan Feast! :). Once this is done, tomorrow, or as early as you can, gather as much people as you can to harvest your bountiful, blessed paddy!
Now, you may wonder, where does this Unduk Ngadau Huminodun play her role in the rituals? Because it was believed that all grains that sustained our life originate from parts of her body, her role is seminal in our harvest. She sacrificed herself for the good of the people, not wanting to see more and more innocent and helpless person dies because of hunger. She had asked her Father, Kinoihingan, with his power to transform her into source of food to keep people alive. Being a farmer's daughter, I have had always been reminded that one grain of rice, not eaten and thrown away, Huminodun cried heaps for her selfless sacrifices not being appreciated by the people that she's willing to die for to save. And today, I wish to spread out this reminder to you out there, everytime we waste a grain of anything (be it rice, corn etc), somebody else crying for food that she/he had never gotten the chance to taste. How ungrateful have we been!
I have many pros and cons of the celebration that we've back in Sabah today. It's a good thing that they're honoring it, and even putting it on calendar as a public holiday for families far and apart to unite and feel the festive mood. Indeed I have absolutely no complaints about how attractive today is compared to other ordinary days, when we all come together to appreciate other's diversity in culture. What I personally distaste of is the way Kaamatan Festival being rebranded more of a 'search of the Huminodun' every year. Yes, exactly that Beauty Pageant contest that irked me the most. The 'criteria' for the 'Huminodun' title is that she must be this and that and all. Not only it exploits women (today, you can have few parts of Unduk Ngadau: night gowns, traditional costumes, bikinis etc), it is that it degrade 'Huminodun' true spirit in many ways. One that I can think of is that a real Huminodun need not be judge by her appearances, nor her education backgrounds, nor her competency level in terms of current and general knowledge (mind you, these are all 'tested' in the Sabah Level Kaamatan Festival every year!), but solely for her fight to help and improve others' lives. So instead of having beautiful girls (I absolutely have no problems with them:P) parading for few hours to win the title 'Unduk Ngadau', what the committee should do is go around, up, down and under the state, look for the real Huminodun that had always been there to provide and support others with all means that she could got hold onto. Honor these Huminoduns, that had always been the pivot for other helpless people to get on with their lives. To me, what makes a person Huminodun is solely her pure heart that believes in emphasizing others' comfort, bring joy to her own being regardless of the hassles that she has to go through. And yes, there are many Huminoduns out there, deserving merit, yet their limelights were stolen.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Selamat Hari Guru
Teacher’s day had just past yesterday. I completely missed it, only when I read an article from one of the online portals I realized Teacher’s Day. Today, I want to share my story to you, my favorite teachers.
To start with, I shall mention to you that I, among countless others back in my hometown (and state to be specific) never had the chance to enter kindergarten/pre-school/nursery classes prior to my Primary 1 back in 1990. Poveryt is one major thing, but among other lacking of schools, distances and expensive fees nip the idea of going to suck classes in the bud. I started without knowledge to write, read, but some basic counting skills (thanks to my mum who always charge me with counting her vegetables’ beds) on the day I first step to my old, dilapidated school (it was back then, and still is now). It was then, that I had a privilege taught by a very patience, caring and lovely lady, Mrs Aminah. With long curly hair, almond-shaped eyes, welcoming smile on her lips every now and then, clad with baju kurung, I fell in love with her the moment she called out my name sweetly for attendance, and memories of her still remained to this day. My first day at school was spent on coloring the drawing that she drew for me-my name. Looking back now, I feel helpless at the thought of losing that very precious drawing. It meant so much to me now, but an exhilarated girl of 7 years old had no idea of the future awaits her back then. I remained incapable of writing my own name, leave alone alphabets the first 3 months, only my math advances by leaps. Perhaps I shouldn’t be proud about it, but I must really tell you that I’ve got as far as sifir 5 in my head within that 3 months, sharp and precise (I cleared sifir 12 by the end of Primary One, but months of holiday got my brain rusty that I got to restart from sifir 5)!:P
So anyway, Mrs Aminah coached me to my writing and reading at the same time, I guess I’ve put lotsa energy to it, I was only troubled by writing S. So instead of looking like S, it looked like 2, hence my name spelt with “numbers” in it. I enjoyed being her tail. I go everywhere she goes, like when she needed to go to staffroom to get something, I’ll as fast as lightning volunteer myself to go there as well, always with the same excuse “saya mahu tolong cikgu angkat kotak/buku”. She becomes my mother at school, and sometime my mum will boil soups/desserts or pluck her fresh veges from the garden for me to bring to school and give it to Mrs Aminah. Such lovely times don’t last forever though, when I, 8 years old, shocked to find out that she’s transferring to another school, in another area, another part of Sabah. I remember I cried until I fell asleep the night after she’s gone. I’ve lost the world, I said to myself. Her words were still afresh “Belajar bagus bagus”, today.
After a devastating period of losing her, I eventually managed to pull out myself and able to go on with my “life” at school. Many teachers came, but none really I felt as close as to her. Most of them are good teachers, yet there’s something lacking between me and them: human warmth, the First Quality that a teacher/educator should have. Of thousand people that I want to meet before I leave the world, I want to put her on top priority, and I wish and pray that I would meet her, and hope that she recognizes me still.
That was my primary school life, lets embark on secondary school life-I must tell you that it took quite a long time before I fell for 2 teacher about the same time, yes-both are men!:P. Which one shall I tell you first? Since the 2 of them influence much of what I am today, I guess I start with my Physics teacher, Mr. Rohit. Very stern-looking guy, voted most muscular guy in the whole school (rumours had it that if you’re to touch his shoulder, you’ll feel stainless steel muscles!), exceptionally brilliant teacher (always-no notes, textbooks etc every time he entered a class, teach physics by heart!), and-ah yes!-I forgot to mention that most girls would trade the world to get his smile. So, what’s so special about him? Second Quality a teacher must have: Encourage stimulating thoughts in your students. Being in science school, with heck a lot of geeks and nerds (forgot to mention the beauties as well!), it’s easy to train yourself to excel in exams, but not so when it comes to revolutionizing your way of understanding of a subject. He made me realize this, that a stamped A on exam paper is no way of measuring how mentally challenged I am. So often, if I got any doubts over some however small, petty thing is, he’s ready to guide, but not spoon-fed me. Yes, he’s the reason why I so love physics, and everything about it. I consulted him with regard to my choice of studying further in this subject prior to my stepping to uni, and you bet that “stimulating thoughts” still kick in!
Lets move onto Guru, the one that I respect so much all my life. He’s a great narrator, a very convincing story-teller, with heart full of humors. To sum up: Know his stuff like the back of his hand, Third Quality a teacher must have. In fact my being here, apart from stroke of luck that govt decided to sponsor my studies, was actually a long-sought after dream that he planted in me. All the stories, and experience that he tell tale in the class made me wanting to create history, and add to his collection of outstanding past students whom, some I’ve known owned big brains and bright futures, studied under great gurus, recognized unis, highly acclaimed majors all around the globe.
Now, that I’m here, still in my uni life, I’ve found yet another exemplary teacher, that I reckon must be Fourth Quality an educator must have: Confidence. Prof. Howard (among his CVs that I happened to know from another prof here is that he’s chairman of theoretical physics in quantum optics in the southern hemisphere), had taught me for 3 years now, total up to 3 papers that I’ve been into. Quantum Mechanics 1-3. Not only his confidence in teaching the subject drawn me to fall into “Quantum World”, but also his assurance and guidance kept me on my path to understand, even more better of quantum world. To share one great mystery that excites the whole scientific community in the world with him is one thing, to exchange motivating, ground breaking notions with him is yet another thing, equally balanced and stick me into physics.
These are Quality of a teacher/educator must have to engage one into knowledge, I shall ask for readers choices of qualities that deserve to be invited into one soul that decide to become a candle in the wind, for I am one of those who is more than glad to teach.
To start with, I shall mention to you that I, among countless others back in my hometown (and state to be specific) never had the chance to enter kindergarten/pre-school/nursery classes prior to my Primary 1 back in 1990. Poveryt is one major thing, but among other lacking of schools, distances and expensive fees nip the idea of going to suck classes in the bud. I started without knowledge to write, read, but some basic counting skills (thanks to my mum who always charge me with counting her vegetables’ beds) on the day I first step to my old, dilapidated school (it was back then, and still is now). It was then, that I had a privilege taught by a very patience, caring and lovely lady, Mrs Aminah. With long curly hair, almond-shaped eyes, welcoming smile on her lips every now and then, clad with baju kurung, I fell in love with her the moment she called out my name sweetly for attendance, and memories of her still remained to this day. My first day at school was spent on coloring the drawing that she drew for me-my name. Looking back now, I feel helpless at the thought of losing that very precious drawing. It meant so much to me now, but an exhilarated girl of 7 years old had no idea of the future awaits her back then. I remained incapable of writing my own name, leave alone alphabets the first 3 months, only my math advances by leaps. Perhaps I shouldn’t be proud about it, but I must really tell you that I’ve got as far as sifir 5 in my head within that 3 months, sharp and precise (I cleared sifir 12 by the end of Primary One, but months of holiday got my brain rusty that I got to restart from sifir 5)!:P
So anyway, Mrs Aminah coached me to my writing and reading at the same time, I guess I’ve put lotsa energy to it, I was only troubled by writing S. So instead of looking like S, it looked like 2, hence my name spelt with “numbers” in it. I enjoyed being her tail. I go everywhere she goes, like when she needed to go to staffroom to get something, I’ll as fast as lightning volunteer myself to go there as well, always with the same excuse “saya mahu tolong cikgu angkat kotak/buku”. She becomes my mother at school, and sometime my mum will boil soups/desserts or pluck her fresh veges from the garden for me to bring to school and give it to Mrs Aminah. Such lovely times don’t last forever though, when I, 8 years old, shocked to find out that she’s transferring to another school, in another area, another part of Sabah. I remember I cried until I fell asleep the night after she’s gone. I’ve lost the world, I said to myself. Her words were still afresh “Belajar bagus bagus”, today.
After a devastating period of losing her, I eventually managed to pull out myself and able to go on with my “life” at school. Many teachers came, but none really I felt as close as to her. Most of them are good teachers, yet there’s something lacking between me and them: human warmth, the First Quality that a teacher/educator should have. Of thousand people that I want to meet before I leave the world, I want to put her on top priority, and I wish and pray that I would meet her, and hope that she recognizes me still.
That was my primary school life, lets embark on secondary school life-I must tell you that it took quite a long time before I fell for 2 teacher about the same time, yes-both are men!:P. Which one shall I tell you first? Since the 2 of them influence much of what I am today, I guess I start with my Physics teacher, Mr. Rohit. Very stern-looking guy, voted most muscular guy in the whole school (rumours had it that if you’re to touch his shoulder, you’ll feel stainless steel muscles!), exceptionally brilliant teacher (always-no notes, textbooks etc every time he entered a class, teach physics by heart!), and-ah yes!-I forgot to mention that most girls would trade the world to get his smile. So, what’s so special about him? Second Quality a teacher must have: Encourage stimulating thoughts in your students. Being in science school, with heck a lot of geeks and nerds (forgot to mention the beauties as well!), it’s easy to train yourself to excel in exams, but not so when it comes to revolutionizing your way of understanding of a subject. He made me realize this, that a stamped A on exam paper is no way of measuring how mentally challenged I am. So often, if I got any doubts over some however small, petty thing is, he’s ready to guide, but not spoon-fed me. Yes, he’s the reason why I so love physics, and everything about it. I consulted him with regard to my choice of studying further in this subject prior to my stepping to uni, and you bet that “stimulating thoughts” still kick in!
Lets move onto Guru, the one that I respect so much all my life. He’s a great narrator, a very convincing story-teller, with heart full of humors. To sum up: Know his stuff like the back of his hand, Third Quality a teacher must have. In fact my being here, apart from stroke of luck that govt decided to sponsor my studies, was actually a long-sought after dream that he planted in me. All the stories, and experience that he tell tale in the class made me wanting to create history, and add to his collection of outstanding past students whom, some I’ve known owned big brains and bright futures, studied under great gurus, recognized unis, highly acclaimed majors all around the globe.
Now, that I’m here, still in my uni life, I’ve found yet another exemplary teacher, that I reckon must be Fourth Quality an educator must have: Confidence. Prof. Howard (among his CVs that I happened to know from another prof here is that he’s chairman of theoretical physics in quantum optics in the southern hemisphere), had taught me for 3 years now, total up to 3 papers that I’ve been into. Quantum Mechanics 1-3. Not only his confidence in teaching the subject drawn me to fall into “Quantum World”, but also his assurance and guidance kept me on my path to understand, even more better of quantum world. To share one great mystery that excites the whole scientific community in the world with him is one thing, to exchange motivating, ground breaking notions with him is yet another thing, equally balanced and stick me into physics.
These are Quality of a teacher/educator must have to engage one into knowledge, I shall ask for readers choices of qualities that deserve to be invited into one soul that decide to become a candle in the wind, for I am one of those who is more than glad to teach.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Part 1: NZ Camping Trip
This was done in last January together with my beloved, Jane.. 
Dargaville
Opononi
Omapere
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Taputaputa (4km East of Cape Reinga)
Preparing for our tent, before our walk..
6km walk started..
After 6km walk..Sunset with beloved..
Silica sand beach, Rarawa
Coromandel
Yet another Coromandel
Colville farm, Coromandel Peninsula
Cathedral Cove
In between Cathedral Cove
Huka Falls Scenic Reserve
Stunning Huka Fall (viewed from a bridge)
Crystal blue Waikato River
Mount Ruapehu (Active volcano)
Tongariro National Park
Awesome aren't they? Make sure you stay tuned for the 2nd part :)
Dargaville
Opononi
Omapere
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Te Paki Sand Dunes
Taputaputa (4km East of Cape Reinga)
Preparing for our tent, before our walk..
6km walk started..
After 6km walk..Sunset with beloved..
Silica sand beach, Rarawa
Coromandel
Yet another Coromandel
Colville farm, Coromandel Peninsula
Cathedral Cove
In between Cathedral Cove
Huka Falls Scenic Reserve
Stunning Huka Fall (viewed from a bridge)
Crystal blue Waikato River
Mount Ruapehu (Active volcano)
Tongariro National ParkAwesome aren't they? Make sure you stay tuned for the 2nd part :)
Saturday, May 3, 2008
life as a physicist : time-reversal
today it rained so heavily, that i've no other choice but to stay at home. i don't have much of the luxury staying, relaxing on sundays this year..work at office demand my constant attention every now and then.. but then again, it's nice to stay and tell you a story today..
i want to tell you sth about physics that really revolutionise the world as you and i see today.. please be warned that if the word "physics" scares you away, i still want to challenge you to stay focus and listen to what i want to say. so here comes...
the subtopic is "time reversal". yes.. you heard me right: time going backward! now, in our days of reckoning, we've never encountered this. some of us have and had wished that we go back to the past and mend some of the mistakes that could have had make a difference in our life today. some, being stubborn and adamant as they always had, swore to their allegiance that even if they've given chances like this once in a lifetime, they'll never resort to changing an iota of their paths (some even add that they'll do the same things again like they've done before). i want to digress a little, and pardon my boldness, what will you want to change in the past, if such oppurtunity given to you? you may or may not want to answer me now, but i'll leave it to your ponder--to me, if i could go back and change my path, i'd change my attitude towards other, especially those who i've been careless and quarrel with. i guess back then i was too "kebudak-budakan" (childish is too mild for my then attitude) to not to appreciate the gap between us. if you think you're one of these people that i've been neglecting at, my sincere apologies.
okay, back to track..where were we? ah yes! the backward time..in quantum physics, we've several operators( a thing that act on our tiny systems) that can be sub-group into two : linear, and anti-linear. when we say linear operator, we mean if it acted on a system it'll yield a linear result. i.e. observables that can be flipped/mirrored but nothing changed. for instance, when we want to measure a rope's length, it doesn't matter which end we start with, both ends give same number. an anti-linear operator like time reversal, is none like this. it's not possible to construct its analogy from our daily encounters, but to weave our imaginations alone on how it should "look like". enough to say that time goes back to the past, and let you imagine..
while you're imagining this, let me take you futher into the topic. i've cheated on you just now by saying that it's not possible to reverse time. it can be done, but only with external forces (man-made) acting on our system. and hence you've heard of "colliders", "particle detectors" etc. so i was right partially because it cannot be done by forces of nature alone. now if you're an astute reader, this is the point you'll raise your hand, and yell at me WE SEE ANTI PARTICLES FROM THESE COLLIDERS!!.. yes! you're right..an anti-particle is the result of this backward time operator acting on our particle (system). a more mature scientist among you, will showers all of us with details : antiparticles are exactly the mirror image of their respective particles, unchanging mass of course. it is said that for every particle that u can name on this Earth, there's its corresponding antiparticle that we cannot see or feel, but the particle itself can see and feel it. Spooky isn't it? Say we take electron as our particle (this is observable everyday..the reason why you've lightning, why you can read me on your petite LCDs, etc), and we call its anti-particle positron (you may have had heard of this somewhat somehow. it's quite a popular particle to talk about). they've same mass, and spin states. but they've opposite charges, and of course time direction.
a more profound effect that these anti particles possessed is that they've negative energy, and hence we cannot see them in nature. to be able to peek through this little particle, we've got to supply energy to them so that they gain more energy, above their energy thresholds, and made themselves visible to us. in a way, you can say that they're very shy, and we've to coerce them to let us take their pictures. so now, have you got their pictures?
on a big scale this very simple idea of reversing time and hence producing anti-particles brought forward many both unfold and fold mysteries. our universe ingredients, black holes, structure of our Sun, some galaxies from afar and so forth. many, if not all, had revolutionise our understanding and appreciations on how complexity of our universe being masked by its beauty. if we concentrate on smaller industries, we find that production of antiparticles, manipulating them yield so much more new particles (and anti-particles of course), some even more exotic that keep us busy adding new rules and theorems into our "particles and antiparticles book keeping". in physics dept at auckland uni, i've a friend who works with "time-reversal of photons" and we often chat and visit each other labs for social activity. i shall tell you about this when he's gotten better results and came to tell me about it, as for now his annoyance is only he couldn't get it working. it's very exciting, especially when they tell you what they've tweaked and the results!! as for my part of research, i deal with much larger length than his, and yet still can fascinate each other! what my research program is, i'm tempted to let you know sooner, but not in this article. i hope you find solace and peace in between until i write again.
so now you see the world slightly different from what it is few minutes ago. that antiparticles travel backward in time. perhaps it's not too much to allude you that you may have your "antiparticle" somewhere, and his/her future is what you called "your past". if your past is tarnished with mistakes that could be avoidable, it may be a good start now to fix it and work for a better future. an easy anology of this is..if we're too laid-back in the past, we should've gotten rid of it by any minute now and work for better future! we shall not want our "antiparticle" to curse us at our backs, yelling "what a wasted FUTURE i've!!!". i can actually hear my spooky "anti particle" throw nasty words at me for having many friends and family uncared for, and now she is left alone with no one to care for. i shall make haste and start working on broken bridge of communication. if you, dear readers, had already resolute aim in minds to amend your mistakes in the past, then this could be the start of it! and for those, whose adamant enough, ponder again..it's never too late to change, how little even, path of our lives.
i want to tell you sth about physics that really revolutionise the world as you and i see today.. please be warned that if the word "physics" scares you away, i still want to challenge you to stay focus and listen to what i want to say. so here comes...
the subtopic is "time reversal". yes.. you heard me right: time going backward! now, in our days of reckoning, we've never encountered this. some of us have and had wished that we go back to the past and mend some of the mistakes that could have had make a difference in our life today. some, being stubborn and adamant as they always had, swore to their allegiance that even if they've given chances like this once in a lifetime, they'll never resort to changing an iota of their paths (some even add that they'll do the same things again like they've done before). i want to digress a little, and pardon my boldness, what will you want to change in the past, if such oppurtunity given to you? you may or may not want to answer me now, but i'll leave it to your ponder--to me, if i could go back and change my path, i'd change my attitude towards other, especially those who i've been careless and quarrel with. i guess back then i was too "kebudak-budakan" (childish is too mild for my then attitude) to not to appreciate the gap between us. if you think you're one of these people that i've been neglecting at, my sincere apologies.
okay, back to track..where were we? ah yes! the backward time..in quantum physics, we've several operators( a thing that act on our tiny systems) that can be sub-group into two : linear, and anti-linear. when we say linear operator, we mean if it acted on a system it'll yield a linear result. i.e. observables that can be flipped/mirrored but nothing changed. for instance, when we want to measure a rope's length, it doesn't matter which end we start with, both ends give same number. an anti-linear operator like time reversal, is none like this. it's not possible to construct its analogy from our daily encounters, but to weave our imaginations alone on how it should "look like". enough to say that time goes back to the past, and let you imagine..
while you're imagining this, let me take you futher into the topic. i've cheated on you just now by saying that it's not possible to reverse time. it can be done, but only with external forces (man-made) acting on our system. and hence you've heard of "colliders", "particle detectors" etc. so i was right partially because it cannot be done by forces of nature alone. now if you're an astute reader, this is the point you'll raise your hand, and yell at me WE SEE ANTI PARTICLES FROM THESE COLLIDERS!!.. yes! you're right..an anti-particle is the result of this backward time operator acting on our particle (system). a more mature scientist among you, will showers all of us with details : antiparticles are exactly the mirror image of their respective particles, unchanging mass of course. it is said that for every particle that u can name on this Earth, there's its corresponding antiparticle that we cannot see or feel, but the particle itself can see and feel it. Spooky isn't it? Say we take electron as our particle (this is observable everyday..the reason why you've lightning, why you can read me on your petite LCDs, etc), and we call its anti-particle positron (you may have had heard of this somewhat somehow. it's quite a popular particle to talk about). they've same mass, and spin states. but they've opposite charges, and of course time direction.
a more profound effect that these anti particles possessed is that they've negative energy, and hence we cannot see them in nature. to be able to peek through this little particle, we've got to supply energy to them so that they gain more energy, above their energy thresholds, and made themselves visible to us. in a way, you can say that they're very shy, and we've to coerce them to let us take their pictures. so now, have you got their pictures?
on a big scale this very simple idea of reversing time and hence producing anti-particles brought forward many both unfold and fold mysteries. our universe ingredients, black holes, structure of our Sun, some galaxies from afar and so forth. many, if not all, had revolutionise our understanding and appreciations on how complexity of our universe being masked by its beauty. if we concentrate on smaller industries, we find that production of antiparticles, manipulating them yield so much more new particles (and anti-particles of course), some even more exotic that keep us busy adding new rules and theorems into our "particles and antiparticles book keeping". in physics dept at auckland uni, i've a friend who works with "time-reversal of photons" and we often chat and visit each other labs for social activity. i shall tell you about this when he's gotten better results and came to tell me about it, as for now his annoyance is only he couldn't get it working. it's very exciting, especially when they tell you what they've tweaked and the results!! as for my part of research, i deal with much larger length than his, and yet still can fascinate each other! what my research program is, i'm tempted to let you know sooner, but not in this article. i hope you find solace and peace in between until i write again.
so now you see the world slightly different from what it is few minutes ago. that antiparticles travel backward in time. perhaps it's not too much to allude you that you may have your "antiparticle" somewhere, and his/her future is what you called "your past". if your past is tarnished with mistakes that could be avoidable, it may be a good start now to fix it and work for a better future. an easy anology of this is..if we're too laid-back in the past, we should've gotten rid of it by any minute now and work for better future! we shall not want our "antiparticle" to curse us at our backs, yelling "what a wasted FUTURE i've!!!". i can actually hear my spooky "anti particle" throw nasty words at me for having many friends and family uncared for, and now she is left alone with no one to care for. i shall make haste and start working on broken bridge of communication. if you, dear readers, had already resolute aim in minds to amend your mistakes in the past, then this could be the start of it! and for those, whose adamant enough, ponder again..it's never too late to change, how little even, path of our lives.
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