Would you marry the same person again?

In a heartbeat.

But how'd you know if this person is the right one for you?

I guess I'll never know. I mean while you're married to this nice lad, why would you hesitate to say I do again in a breeze?

What about your wishful thinking?

Lets see.. Mine is walking hand in hand with this same old person in the park, maybe with some trotting dogs, in 50 years time from now. I'd have only two options to make it comes true: 1) Stick around a little longer enjoying this person company, or 2) Stay healthy and survive until that time is up. Obviously, the latter is out of my control (you know anything can happen to you unexpectedly) so I'm left with one option only: Be more patience with this person!

Tell me about all the pain you've to endure to get along with!?

It's possible to experience frustration and disappointments along the way, but it's not always constantly that. You've beautiful moments that you'd never trade the world for what each of them worth for. The likes of breakfast on bed, the act of bringing you pills for your headache, the arms that always hug you during your down time, the smile in the crowd cheering for you in your most defining moments. That's why they've a saying in English of "my better half". They may never complete you, but they can make you whole and that's what a better half should do.

What if you're not satisfied with just being together? What if you want more in your life?

I've read somewhere before that one should let the little bird flies and it's the only way one will know this bird will come back home. Don't be afraid to let go. If you want something more than anything, and your better half lets you have it you know that you owe it to him. And if he doesn't, then you know he owes you a reasonable length of explaining to do.

Again, how do you he's the one?

I don't know if he's the one at the first instance. I cannot predict the future by the first sighting. In time, it becomes more like faith. When you asked one person if God is there to listen to your everyday prayer, we don't know for sure. We can only have a little more faith each and every day. So, if you've faith in a person, then you know hopes are there to support you and love is always around to nourish you.

Can't enjoy nature in a crowd

(Lewis Pass is part of the Southern Alps, Canterbury, NZ)

I'm sure I'm not demophobic, but there's enough tinge inside me that can tilt my enjoyment balance with the surge of strangers crowding the very place where I've been breathing in the spectacles of nature. Of course, there are some that have the courtesy of enjoying quietly the majestic sceneries with me but most of the time I'm left appalled with the ignorance people manners. Shouting to the standing person next to them is one thing to endure in addition to this wallah stepping onto your picnic mat where you're lying enjoying the Sun. I can presumably tolerate their inability to say sorry in English, but horrible manners like those?

Yeah, I get to come across these types of inconsiderate people over the many picnics, trips, bushes walking, beach sun-bathings and other outdoor activities I've had. I'm trying not to generalized which nations weren't taught good social manners, but if you've been in the same situation as me before perhaps you know better than to write it down.

(Sumner range, Canterbury, NZ)

Despite this, the whole experience of getting in touch with NZ nature are above all, a heaven bliss! When you're lying on your back by the lake side across the ranges in a lazy afternoon in summer time and looking at the clear blue sky reflected off the water surface, it feels like there are two skies sitting on top of each other. Whether you're back-packing on a walking tramp in the forest where you can hear the echos of the running water by the rivers and the waterfalls, chorused with wild birds and insects emotional calling each other home or traveling along the long stretched mountains of white snow and glaciers where the bitting cold did not seem to bother you at all upon seeing the light rays seeping through the solid rock ice around you. It's a loving day, almost like you've never imagined you'll someday see heaven without dying.

(Lyttelton, Banks Peninsula, Christchurch, NZ)

About faith, hope and love..

(SMC-Macro 100mm, F2.8)

1 Corinthians 13

What more can one say after the most endearing, inspiriting piece of the Bible reading that is pleasing to the senses and mind aesthetically? It soothed the souls of the believers of love. Love, a mystery that modernization can neither corrupt nor erode from a human heart.

A secret passage of enduring a long distance love? An amulet to keep two hearts safe from wandering into loneliness? An incantation of psalms to sustain the magic feeling of 'love is in the air' when apart?

Infallable gastronomy

(Man swimming against the current on a near 0 degree water! Bethells Beach, Akl)

How do you welcome a bitter winter?!  I say; tucked warmly in bed, with a good book to read and a few cups of hot chocolcate drinks by the side.  Ah..  it almost sounded like haven, and sometime I wish winter is all year long.  Well, okay there are certain times that I don't wish to get wet and blown away by Akld's crazy wind like when I'm walking up and down to school, or when I'm on my way to my weekly grocery shopping or when I'm actually doing healthy walks by the park and beach with my awesome camera at hands.

It's going to get tough here in Akl in the months to come.  Already it seems that this year's winter has released all the power be by bringing 3 consecutive days raining in the city, and I'm missing the Sun terribly!  I probably can survive the chilly wind and temperature going down to 0 degree some other time, but certainly not without the Sun.  And in the middle of it all, there was water shortage (SHOCKED!) in certain part of this big city due to the pipes being blown off by the heavy flow of insurging water.

(No to Carbon footprint!  Bethells beach, AKL)

So, back to my winter hibernation program:  last weekends were spent reading books and getting hooked with a series of classical music listening.  To be specific, I finished a book by Vikram Seth "An Equal Music" and at the same time integrate me back to my favorite all time: Cello Orchestra.  I had so much fun with the book that I've to finish reading it or otherwise I'm not able think of something else.  Well, so there..I finished it within half a day (the few hours lapses were due to me attending some other marginal works like preparing lunch and stuff..).  My recommendation of the book?  It's a very good read, a must for music lovers, and yes, a mandatory for those who enjoy every juicy bits of Seth's composition.  It's such a beautiful book, and I'm not going to spoil you with what's in store.  You'll have to find that one out once you read it.  (I've similarly read Seth's "A Suitable Boy" and enjoyed it as much as the latter distinct themes)

(Hiking up this hill on a sunny day.  Bethells beach, AKL)

I will have to escape some weeks of this tortuous winter to a more equatorial sunny days from the beginning of next month.  I welcome changes, especially the nice ones and I'm certainly looking forward for this trip home for my brother's and my beloved friend's weddings.  Yes, many weddings to attend and I already planned what I'm going to eat every hour of the days of my holiday.  Thus the title of this entry...

(Welcoming sunny afternoon with flying kite by the shore.  Bethells beach, AKL)

Until then, these are some pre-winter shots around Akl's beaches that I've got from spectacular walks that I've done.  Winter walking on a wonderland, people!

(Sunset on Bethells beach, AKL)

Comment:  Wedding pictures will have to wait until I finish shedding off fat I'll earn from overeating during this holiday.  Until then, happy holiday to me! 

Happy Mother's day...

Here are a list of things of which I remember vividly about my MUM

1) Shopping: Nothing is better than shopping with your mum. From kitchen groceries to filling up my wardrobe to school stationaries, she's the one person I turned to when there's shortage (or not) of supplies in these departments. Mum always let me choose what I like and pay for them (but first she'll bargain from bottom to top of the items with the poor businessmen/women). Well, that's a pleasure of shopping with mum!

2) Cooking: My first cooking lesson resulted with burnt dishes were successfully transformed to something that looks brown-ish but edible! Thanks to my mum, it wasn't a nightmare anymore to gear up and chef all the way in the kitchen all by myself then. My failure in cooking was reduced to 3% by the time I turned 10 years old (note: I don't cook instant noodle for a family of 5!).

3) Heart to heart talk: When I had my first crush, I told everyone but my mum about it for fear of her disapproval of my puppy love. It went on as a secret for almost 2 years before I finally spilled the beans and have the courage to face the music for the girlish infatuation (instead of fully concentrating on my studies!) to my mum. To my surprise, but a delighted one, she went to talk to my then-boyfriend (now a husband-to-be) parents and started arranging stuff so that the families can get serious about it. I wished I didn't waste that 2 years worth of stealthy glimpses and chats when our family catch up every now and then.

4) Straight A's: Everybody is nervous about exam results and academic achievements back then. I'm nervous when it comes to checking my results despite the fact that I'm almost certain I got the questions answered well in the exam. But nobody in the family can fathom why my mum is marching back and forth in across the floor waiting for me to return with my exam slip. And when she saw that nothing worse than As popped out of the thin paper I'm holding, her jubilant and exaltation first go to the Lord up above, then hugging me with teary eyes mumbling "my girl passed her exam!". Hmm.. I don't think she knew the difference between getting a "Pass" or an "A", but that didn't matter to me at all.

5) Green hand: When I was a little girl (not so long ago), I always hate it when she called me up and bid me to trail her to her vegetables farm. Really!! Early in the morning and also when the Sun is shining its brightest in the late afternoon aren't the time I fancy working outdoor! The reason being I was made the 'peasant' is because my younger sister (and ultimately most of my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews) couldn't plant a thing!! Mum always believed that giving lives and taking care of them are innate skill. From rearing chicks, ducks to planting veges seeds, I've always been given the honor to do it. Oh but, when it comes to the profits made out of my 'hard work' I've got a third of the total amount mum made at the market and I get a 10 cent ice-cream if I helped her looking over the stall during the sale! Maybe that's why I crave for gardening and rearing animals these couple of years. Living in the city doesn't give you the luxury of one!

There are, of course, many other things that I cannot possibly write down in this entry about my mum. She's a gifted woman, sturdy but flexible, loving and graceful person. She's perfect inside-out that I cannot adore any other women on earth in my whole lifetime. I love you, Mum!

The science of love...

I've come across this situation several times. An awkward situation in which in a group of people in a social gathering, one person turns to you and asks "So, what do you do?". It seems an honest introductory, applicable question to get to know a stranger. Well, you might as well throw the bucket as you can be sure you're highly probable on not seeing each other again, or you might devise a plan on not ever running into this poor person all your might! But I digress... So I say, "I study Physics" with a wide smile on my face.

In that blink of a second, you could see the person's face turned white or something and you quickly adjusted your smile so as not to pin the poor person soul onto the wall and hear him screaming "Why, out of many people here, why me? There goes my one night of the week!". This tell you so much why scientists are rarely invited to 'social gatherings', except when the host is actually a scientist.

Anyhow, he'll go on on asking how my study of Physics can actually be applicable in real life out of courtesy. I learnt over the few parties that I shouldn't talk jargons or else I'll end up eating away with the chips at the corner of the space alone. You see, it didn't register to me that most people see Physics as something that is entangled with equations for questions that they didn't care to ask and by attending Physics it's simply diminishing the beauty of the object of interest. It's sad that it's (the belief that Physics is a tedious Math) becoming more and more widespread these days, but I believe that the maths that we uses in Physics are inevitable, especially when you're curious about what's happening inside an atom. We're made up of atoms for that matter, aren't you interested in learning how and why we're doing what we do now?

If we're to trace back in time the birth of Physics, we'll all come to a conclusion that Physics is the 'nature philosophy'. So when we talk about the Physics of something we naturally proposed our theories based on the observations. Now that is SCIENCE, a theory that can be tested with experiments (Math is not science as it cannot be tested in actual experiments, but I don't think it is bad if it is not science. There are many other good things that need not be proved through experimental setups, like LOVE. Love is not science, but it's a good thing).

So we come to an example of the way people see flower for instance to look at the nature philosophy. What can you see in a pretty flower, like a hibiscus or a rose? The colors? The textures? And some more? Now lets look at it through the eyes of a scientist. Sure what you see is also observed by the scientist, but wait, there's more to it in the eyes of the latter. He sees how the color of the pigments of the flowers gets to be there in the first place. The interactions of many atoms in the plants cells that give out the glaring red color reflected by the white light into the eyes. In the one of the many atoms, he can imagine the electrons buzzing around the nucleus that give off energy to sustain the one cell, and it's the same process for every other cell, and these make up the petals, the leaves. And there are many other aspects that a scientist can imagine that will add up to the beauty of the flower, in a way that other people cannot see further. I don't see how science can subtract to the quality of the pretty flower seen. It, in particular Physics, can only add up, but never subtract.

Comment: And love remains an observer at the outside of the science field. Should it wants to come and join in, its wonderful magic can only be summed up by infinite positive exponential terms.

Some elected politicians..(sigh)

Now this post is probably highly controversial, presumptuously will make me a headline in The Star even (remember what happened to the poor guy Wee who'd complaint about TNB terrible service in Youtube?)! Someone suggested I should've gone for the highest office in Sabah, yes, the CM chair!

It all started with one of the comments following a friend of mine, Nelly, blog post (here). It's basically containing a very honest, true story that she's experienced with one of the 'elected' politicians in Sabah. To give you a brief 'resume' of this particular guy, he's currently holding the 'tourism portfolio/ministerial' post in the state cabinet. Google that one up, and you'll be lucky to find this guy face on the web (yes, you're blessed to see him)!

If you'd read his email replies to one of my wise, highly intellectual friends (click on the link to Nelly's blog entry above), you can see a STARK contrast between ones that actually research a problem and try to find coherent solutions to solve the matter, and the ones that realized the problem but chose not only to tie hands and feet to nail the matter in the head but also are quick to shift the blames to others so as to save their own asses (please excuse the profanity as I find it's discomforting not to be able to express my freedom of writing).

That this is one example of the many out there (not limited to Sabah, but around the globe unfortunately) where elected leaders show uncharismatic values of a leader is very regrettable I believe. But, let me focus on this particular matter at hand that I find contemptible about this particular minister: 1) being aware of the pressing problem but doing nothing and 2) finding somebody for a scapegoat.

This particular minister, whatever his name is, I hope had been aware of the problem long before my friend brought up the matter to him, that the choking price just to climb the darn 4 km in height Mt. Kinabalu is killing the locals proud intention to see the sunrise on the highest mountain in the country. This same ministry is responsible for going out there to promote our untouched serene nature, majestic few of the many oldest rain-forests in the world, our dignified cultures and customs, but at the rate at which it's promoting 'our values' put too much emphasis on short term profit rather than a long term one. Charging locals a rate that's comparable to that of the international tourists, I think is too much over the top. Well, sure you'd like to say 'hey it's dog eat dog world out there,' but lets remind ourself that the mean annual salary for Malaysian par way below that of the Americans, Europeans, in fact most of the developing countries! We're also being taxed at a ridiculous rate in exchange to subsidized oil and some others. Shocking statistics? I didn't have to hold a degree in Economics to read with disbelief the numbers! So, dear minister, if you so wanted to charge us the same as our American friends, get our GDP running on the same speed as theirs then you can start the fair-play game!

Why, yes, I find it's disgusting for some leaders to call themselves leaders when they cannot take on criticisms with opened minds equally as they'll regard favorable praises for their works, and amazingly most of them are politicians. Whatever happened to that saying 'failure is a mother of success' that they speak with volume in their motivational speeches to the electorates? Some things didn't work out fine, be it your misjudgments or somebody (who happened to be in your team, predecessors) else's but was it necessary to explain who blew the shit up? It sure didn't reflect a nice impression of this particular minister, at least to most of us. Why would resorting to assigning responsibility for a fault to somebody else making it seems he's complete innocent is beyond any ordinary citizens, one of them is me. It only painted one clear picture of him, that is beyond that garlanded title, respect of his is an empty-headed guy of no talent whatsoever, not worthy of any admirations from whomsoever, and above all devoid of any dedications and devotions to his vocation. So, here's the dagger to bring this particular minister home: get your lazy bum out of that comfy leather chair that we paid for with our sweat and blood if you're not going to be serious about your job. Shape up or ship out, pal!

Comments: Thanks Nali, for the idea of me sitting in the CM chair. Politics are one of the careers that I'll be thinking when we're in almost in the brink of extinction from qualified leaders. Until then, we'll (yes, you and me!) have to vociferously voice out and stand for however little injustices trampled upon us.