Bending time..

I was just strolling down the park the other day when I witness the magic of spring...

Often, the everyday of my life consists of jogging up and down to school, trying to finish whatever I've left in the lab last night, have a light lunch and a nice couple of cups of tea, then continue with piling up works in the lab again before finally calling it a day around 8-9 pm. Well, you might as well say I've a very uneventful life and sometime I've to agree upon that myself.

Now, what inspire me jotting down my thoughts on this blog tonight was this recent occasion in which I looked up on the dull, bald stretch of oak trees on the way to school that filled me with vigors that I've longed for quite sometime. Yes, I saw little green cuticles sprouting off those branches that made me stopped and marveled at the sheer magic of it. How can I be so ignorant all this while?

It brings to one thing that I think especially resonate with my situation so far: that I've never been thankful of each of the failure I've encountered in my research work, that without each one of it I would never know how to get at least one thing right. Is it a wonder that we, frail human beings, seek solace and happiness in only the triumph of victory? How do we bend time to make it last longer?

Comment: Thomas Edison famous quote, ".. at least I know a thousand ways of how not to light a bulb", cannot be anything but the honest truth of one's reflection of the mother of success, failure.

Courage that's chickening out!

Well, in the past week I've been extremely busy with stuff that I think I should be busy with. The life of a student! You wouldn't expect less than that, would you?

So let me tell you 2 stories of my own, that have recently happened to me in real life...

1) Callous morning call : It happened this morning. Woke up in daze. Blinked one two times and jumped out of the bed. Planning to brush my teeth before hitting on the shower. Lo and behold! I can't find my toothbrush anywhere on the, next to, above the face basin! And I thought..where did it go?? I was certain I left it there last night before off to bed. I live alone, and I don't believe in ghosts works on shifting stuff in my domain! I search high and low, concentrating more on the basin area. 5 mins passed, and it's still nowhere to be seen!! I was furious..like..really mad that I actually lost my toothbrush in the duration of my sleep! Well, I quickly accepted that today is going to be a horrible one-off to school without brushing my teeth. Just make sure you shut your mouth all the time, I cursed myself. Oh I can't!! I've some lab tutoring to do in like.. 40 mins!! Screw this.. Got in to the shower tub, took the sponge and was dabbing the soap onto it just in time waaallla.. here's my toothbrush looking at me! Gosh.. whatever happened to the lapsed memories I've from last night to this morning! It's not stupidity--it's memory loss!

2) Nightmares in numbers : Happened a few times actually, especially so when I'm in the middle of analyzing data measurements period. But these recent dreams came when I'm still working out the theoretical portion of my work. I'm meant to write never-ending codes, debug them and make sure they, above all, work for previous published data. That's what I've been bogged down into these past 2-3 months. Ok, so after a tiring, unproductive day at school, the next thing you'd like to do is hit the bed and fall into a deep slumber! Instead, I was horrified that there are nights when I actually see myself in my dreams writing bullet-proof working codes solving problems that I've been wanting to solve since last week or so. Whenever I get these types of dreams, I just have to get up and find a pencil to note down just what I've just seen in my dreams as quickly as possible before I lose them! Yeah, I'm that desperate for a miracle! Surprisingly, some of these codes do work good, sometimes they're just plain useless because I'm just clueless as to what I've scribbled down on the sticky notes.

Comment: I believe smart people don't get their intelligence from their genes or miracles of some sort. Ordinary people who worked hard with what interests them are the prerequisite of endowment of faculty of reasoning gift.

Would you marry the same person again?

In a heartbeat.

But how'd you know if this person is the right one for you?

I guess I'll never know. I mean while you're married to this nice lad, why would you hesitate to say I do again in a breeze?

What about your wishful thinking?

Lets see.. Mine is walking hand in hand with this same old person in the park, maybe with some trotting dogs, in 50 years time from now. I'd have only two options to make it comes true: 1) Stick around a little longer enjoying this person company, or 2) Stay healthy and survive until that time is up. Obviously, the latter is out of my control (you know anything can happen to you unexpectedly) so I'm left with one option only: Be more patience with this person!

Tell me about all the pain you've to endure to get along with!?

It's possible to experience frustration and disappointments along the way, but it's not always constantly that. You've beautiful moments that you'd never trade the world for what each of them worth for. The likes of breakfast on bed, the act of bringing you pills for your headache, the arms that always hug you during your down time, the smile in the crowd cheering for you in your most defining moments. That's why they've a saying in English of "my better half". They may never complete you, but they can make you whole and that's what a better half should do.

What if you're not satisfied with just being together? What if you want more in your life?

I've read somewhere before that one should let the little bird flies and it's the only way one will know this bird will come back home. Don't be afraid to let go. If you want something more than anything, and your better half lets you have it you know that you owe it to him. And if he doesn't, then you know he owes you a reasonable length of explaining to do.

Again, how do you he's the one?

I don't know if he's the one at the first instance. I cannot predict the future by the first sighting. In time, it becomes more like faith. When you asked one person if God is there to listen to your everyday prayer, we don't know for sure. We can only have a little more faith each and every day. So, if you've faith in a person, then you know hopes are there to support you and love is always around to nourish you.

Can't enjoy nature in a crowd

(Lewis Pass is part of the Southern Alps, Canterbury, NZ)

I'm sure I'm not demophobic, but there's enough tinge inside me that can tilt my enjoyment balance with the surge of strangers crowding the very place where I've been breathing in the spectacles of nature. Of course, there are some that have the courtesy of enjoying quietly the majestic sceneries with me but most of the time I'm left appalled with the ignorance people manners. Shouting to the standing person next to them is one thing to endure in addition to this wallah stepping onto your picnic mat where you're lying enjoying the Sun. I can presumably tolerate their inability to say sorry in English, but horrible manners like those?

Yeah, I get to come across these types of inconsiderate people over the many picnics, trips, bushes walking, beach sun-bathings and other outdoor activities I've had. I'm trying not to generalized which nations weren't taught good social manners, but if you've been in the same situation as me before perhaps you know better than to write it down.

(Sumner range, Canterbury, NZ)

Despite this, the whole experience of getting in touch with NZ nature are above all, a heaven bliss! When you're lying on your back by the lake side across the ranges in a lazy afternoon in summer time and looking at the clear blue sky reflected off the water surface, it feels like there are two skies sitting on top of each other. Whether you're back-packing on a walking tramp in the forest where you can hear the echos of the running water by the rivers and the waterfalls, chorused with wild birds and insects emotional calling each other home or traveling along the long stretched mountains of white snow and glaciers where the bitting cold did not seem to bother you at all upon seeing the light rays seeping through the solid rock ice around you. It's a loving day, almost like you've never imagined you'll someday see heaven without dying.

(Lyttelton, Banks Peninsula, Christchurch, NZ)

About faith, hope and love..

(SMC-Macro 100mm, F2.8)

1 Corinthians 13

What more can one say after the most endearing, inspiriting piece of the Bible reading that is pleasing to the senses and mind aesthetically? It soothed the souls of the believers of love. Love, a mystery that modernization can neither corrupt nor erode from a human heart.

A secret passage of enduring a long distance love? An amulet to keep two hearts safe from wandering into loneliness? An incantation of psalms to sustain the magic feeling of 'love is in the air' when apart?

Infallable gastronomy

(Man swimming against the current on a near 0 degree water! Bethells Beach, Akl)

How do you welcome a bitter winter?!  I say; tucked warmly in bed, with a good book to read and a few cups of hot chocolcate drinks by the side.  Ah..  it almost sounded like haven, and sometime I wish winter is all year long.  Well, okay there are certain times that I don't wish to get wet and blown away by Akld's crazy wind like when I'm walking up and down to school, or when I'm on my way to my weekly grocery shopping or when I'm actually doing healthy walks by the park and beach with my awesome camera at hands.

It's going to get tough here in Akl in the months to come.  Already it seems that this year's winter has released all the power be by bringing 3 consecutive days raining in the city, and I'm missing the Sun terribly!  I probably can survive the chilly wind and temperature going down to 0 degree some other time, but certainly not without the Sun.  And in the middle of it all, there was water shortage (SHOCKED!) in certain part of this big city due to the pipes being blown off by the heavy flow of insurging water.

(No to Carbon footprint!  Bethells beach, AKL)

So, back to my winter hibernation program:  last weekends were spent reading books and getting hooked with a series of classical music listening.  To be specific, I finished a book by Vikram Seth "An Equal Music" and at the same time integrate me back to my favorite all time: Cello Orchestra.  I had so much fun with the book that I've to finish reading it or otherwise I'm not able think of something else.  Well, so there..I finished it within half a day (the few hours lapses were due to me attending some other marginal works like preparing lunch and stuff..).  My recommendation of the book?  It's a very good read, a must for music lovers, and yes, a mandatory for those who enjoy every juicy bits of Seth's composition.  It's such a beautiful book, and I'm not going to spoil you with what's in store.  You'll have to find that one out once you read it.  (I've similarly read Seth's "A Suitable Boy" and enjoyed it as much as the latter distinct themes)

(Hiking up this hill on a sunny day.  Bethells beach, AKL)

I will have to escape some weeks of this tortuous winter to a more equatorial sunny days from the beginning of next month.  I welcome changes, especially the nice ones and I'm certainly looking forward for this trip home for my brother's and my beloved friend's weddings.  Yes, many weddings to attend and I already planned what I'm going to eat every hour of the days of my holiday.  Thus the title of this entry...

(Welcoming sunny afternoon with flying kite by the shore.  Bethells beach, AKL)

Until then, these are some pre-winter shots around Akl's beaches that I've got from spectacular walks that I've done.  Winter walking on a wonderland, people!

(Sunset on Bethells beach, AKL)

Comment:  Wedding pictures will have to wait until I finish shedding off fat I'll earn from overeating during this holiday.  Until then, happy holiday to me! 

Happy Mother's day...

Here are a list of things of which I remember vividly about my MUM

1) Shopping: Nothing is better than shopping with your mum. From kitchen groceries to filling up my wardrobe to school stationaries, she's the one person I turned to when there's shortage (or not) of supplies in these departments. Mum always let me choose what I like and pay for them (but first she'll bargain from bottom to top of the items with the poor businessmen/women). Well, that's a pleasure of shopping with mum!

2) Cooking: My first cooking lesson resulted with burnt dishes were successfully transformed to something that looks brown-ish but edible! Thanks to my mum, it wasn't a nightmare anymore to gear up and chef all the way in the kitchen all by myself then. My failure in cooking was reduced to 3% by the time I turned 10 years old (note: I don't cook instant noodle for a family of 5!).

3) Heart to heart talk: When I had my first crush, I told everyone but my mum about it for fear of her disapproval of my puppy love. It went on as a secret for almost 2 years before I finally spilled the beans and have the courage to face the music for the girlish infatuation (instead of fully concentrating on my studies!) to my mum. To my surprise, but a delighted one, she went to talk to my then-boyfriend (now a husband-to-be) parents and started arranging stuff so that the families can get serious about it. I wished I didn't waste that 2 years worth of stealthy glimpses and chats when our family catch up every now and then.

4) Straight A's: Everybody is nervous about exam results and academic achievements back then. I'm nervous when it comes to checking my results despite the fact that I'm almost certain I got the questions answered well in the exam. But nobody in the family can fathom why my mum is marching back and forth in across the floor waiting for me to return with my exam slip. And when she saw that nothing worse than As popped out of the thin paper I'm holding, her jubilant and exaltation first go to the Lord up above, then hugging me with teary eyes mumbling "my girl passed her exam!". Hmm.. I don't think she knew the difference between getting a "Pass" or an "A", but that didn't matter to me at all.

5) Green hand: When I was a little girl (not so long ago), I always hate it when she called me up and bid me to trail her to her vegetables farm. Really!! Early in the morning and also when the Sun is shining its brightest in the late afternoon aren't the time I fancy working outdoor! The reason being I was made the 'peasant' is because my younger sister (and ultimately most of my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews) couldn't plant a thing!! Mum always believed that giving lives and taking care of them are innate skill. From rearing chicks, ducks to planting veges seeds, I've always been given the honor to do it. Oh but, when it comes to the profits made out of my 'hard work' I've got a third of the total amount mum made at the market and I get a 10 cent ice-cream if I helped her looking over the stall during the sale! Maybe that's why I crave for gardening and rearing animals these couple of years. Living in the city doesn't give you the luxury of one!

There are, of course, many other things that I cannot possibly write down in this entry about my mum. She's a gifted woman, sturdy but flexible, loving and graceful person. She's perfect inside-out that I cannot adore any other women on earth in my whole lifetime. I love you, Mum!